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Pages: advice please [1]
Author Topic: Advice please
hinze

Hero Member
Posts: 15

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2011-02-18 17-00-21

advice please my very bitter/evil/feisty grandma just got diagnosed w/a heart condition and some other medical problems...she'll be moving into an assisted living facility shortly. i've always wanted to show irie (my gf) where i grew up, my grandma's way cool house and have her meet my family-especially the characters like my grandma the problem is the majority of my family are bigots and i'm afraid if they'll cause a scene or try to prevent me from entering family gatherings w/irie this is a major reason i haven't visited back east in a number of years thoughts? suggestions?
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detrick

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Posts: 29

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2011-02-22 22-44-29

oh yeah -i'm not really *out* to anyone besides my mom/dad/sis cuz i'm bi and had a few boyfriends i think they've forgotten when i came out (last time i dated a girl before irie that they knew about was when i was 17)
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Marabel

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Posts: 20

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2012-04-11 19-07-57

is grandma evil as in homophobe evil? if not, just take Irie to her digs and skip the rest.
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  • starks

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    Posts: 36

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    2014-01-26 10-40-20

    well, she's prolly homophobic as well but evil as in saying mean/blunt/snarky things to your face but i want irie to meet both her and my sweet grammie (who lives a block away from the evil one, actually) it's the whole 'do i dare subject irie to bigotry' that worries me....b/c both grandmas are ailing they pretty much have the extended family taking turns there every day...so i wouldn't be able to just show up and *only* see grandma
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  • alverson

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    2014-03-04 6-08-18-

    it's a bit much to ask a girlfriend to hold your hand while you're coming out to folks for the first time. Maybe she's willing, but it's still quite a lot to ask. If you really want to have her experience your family, the right thing to do is to come out to them on your own. Give them some time to adjust and then bring Irie.
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    grim

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    Posts: 39

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    2014-10-25 10-02-52

    i just don't know that coming out to them over the phone is right and i don't want to go back east for a visit alone b/c that seems a sham/dishonest/fucked up somehow....can't really explain why.... *sigh* i think ac 's prolly right
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    wagers

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    2015-07-13 10-45-32

    I agree. I don't think coming out because you have a same sex partner is the time to come out. If they're part of your life (it doesn't seem like they are), you would have come out already. Since they're not really a part of your life, why subject Irie to them?
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    colby

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    2015-10-07 7-03-56-

    oh, and as an anecdote: I wouldn't bring a girlfriend to meet any of my biological family, because even my brother (the least bad of them) when meeting my straight best friend showed such incredibly poor social skills that to this day (about x years later), I still regret subjecting her to him. Also, keep in mind that the best parts of your growing up are are part of you that she gets to see every day anyway. A building is just a building, but the fact that you know how to squeeze into small spaces because you played in the kitchen cabinets when you were a kid is something you've probably already shown her in your kinkier moments....
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