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Pages: need some perspective [1]
Author Topic: Need some perspective
girgenti

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Posts: 16

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2010-11-11 18-25-38

need some perspective My ex of week (bf for 1 year) is a guy who left his pregnant ex, who now owes a ton of support, who is almost making minimum wage, who wants nothing to do with his kid, who fantasizes about the kid coming to him as a teenager and saying "I hate my mom too, I know why you left", a guy who is an ex drug addict, who has gained 40 pounds this year, a guy who cusses like a sailor, sometimes doesn't shower for days, hates women in general, grabs me in public, never says thank you for homemade dinners, birthday gifts, uses everything I've ever said against me, out of context, twisting it around, making me look bad, broke a $200 phone I bought him that he wanted, only to tell me later that it's no big deal because "at least it was cheap" because he had decided that it wasn't good enough/didn't have enough features as the blackberry, and regretted his choice of phone, so breaking it (by throwing it in anger was A-ok), does nothing but sit and watch the worst crap tv shows, has no sense of humor whatsoever, only thinks sarcasm is funny, never accepts responsibility for anything or accepts blame, never says he's sorry, says romantic things like "I don't want to take care of a diabetic when you're older, stop drinking coke", has actually admitted to me that he doesn't want to have to be there emotionally for someone but rather he wants someone there for him, to help with his problems.... Somehow he reeled me in on the premise that he believed in "true love" ala the "notebook" and wanted to grow old with someone and croak with someone and blah blah blah. Said he'd treat me better than his exes, said he'd never cheat (actually I don't think he did cheat on me, but he became obese, so I think that helped his cause) This person slept with me Sunday and then told me Monday that after a year of being with him and supporting him through all of BS, he just wanted to be "friends" Not just "friends" but people that have gone through a lot together...."lifelong" friends he said. HUH? Please tell me eventually my life will be better off without this guy in it? I am devastated but I guess it serves me right because this guy gave me plenty of red 35399s but WHY WHY WHY do I still think his inner nice core is worth staying with or begging to come back to me...?
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theriot

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Posts: 7

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2010-11-14 9-52-56-

I guess I am having trouble understanding WHY you would spend a year with someone you clearly have so much disdain, even disgust for. I understand that he may have whispered some sweet nothings at the start but it sounds like he has been pretty vile ever since. How to get over it? I would say good riddance to bad rubbish. You may want to spend sometime thinking about why you would put up with that kind of behavior for longer than 5 minutes. If you don't believe you deserve more you will never get more.
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    weisensel

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    Posts: 47

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    2011-02-20 20-01-01

    I know it hurts to be dumped, but He was doing everything possible to get you to leave first. Chances are you would do better picking somebody randomly off the street that wasn't wearing a wedding band.
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    Charman

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    Posts: 14

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    2011-03-24 17-21-24

    actually I think even a kind married philanderer would have been an improvement.
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  • mooneyham

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    Posts: 42

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    2012-10-24 2-59-58-

    that's exactly what i don't want though, a cheater :(
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  • crompton

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    Posts: 27

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    2012-12-19 21-22-45

    the good news is, you don't have to take either. I suppose some of your exes cheated on you. ok, good, that'sthing you know you don't want that would be bad for you. but DON'T settle for total crap ever again, just because it doesn't fuck anyone else.
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  • hibbert

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    Posts: 99

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    2015-09-05 19-25-28

    my persepsctive is that you are HS drop out with low self esteem, grew up in divorced famiy and hait...ve doormat tendeicies wait, may be u do have a college degree but u are still all the rest I lsited. Count yout blessings that this money sucking man left you. Do not be firend with him Do nto date anyone right now go to therapy. acutlly, do not walk, run
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