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Pages: 'enacting a rape fantasy much?' [1]
Author Topic: 'enacting a rape fantasy much?'
Patra

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2010-11-10 16-16-36

'enacting a rape fantasy much?' Hrm.... so yeah, never ever thought I would be able to hear the word rape and not shudder, let alone enjoy being held down and taken by my trusted partner without flipping out... but it seems that things have changed. SO likes to nibble/bite my neck and ears while he's holding me down and fucking me. I try to squirm to get away (allowing him access to my neck is an act of submission) it freaks me out a bit in that I'm so vulnerable. Anyway, I started saying 'no' quietly as I've tried to block his mouth from reaching my skin (by pushing my shoulder to my ears). He roughly whispers... "yessss'... and nibbles away. Okay, so he mentioned that he finds it a bit exciting. I did ask how he feels about it. Last night, I pushed it slightly further and whispered 'no' a few times while he was about to penetrate me. I shifted my hips away to block him a bit, of course he 'won' and had his way. *grins* Afterwards he made the remark: "enacting a rape fantasy much?" This threw me off because I had never even considered it. I mean, that was sort of what I was doing I guess, but it wasn't completely on purpose. Of course I wanted him and was only teasing, but I wonder if I do have some sort of hidden RF. The topic has come up before, about the "Lust" aspect (here in the fo) and I explained that to him. I also said that we have safewords and we should use them if we're uncomfy. I also reminded him that if I really wanted to be let go, 'no' would not be my first phrase.... 'get the fuck off me now' would be. Still though, I know now that he's game for exploring, but I wondered if others have had kinks manifest during sex (that suprised you or your partner)?
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figurski

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2010-11-16 23-26-07

Sounds like it. I mean, that you were enacting a rape fantasy, or a resistance play kink. So...right on. Yeah, I've had things that I developed a kink for come at me in the moment and slap me in the face as an unexpected turn-on. Ethnocentricity in the bedroom and incest roleplay come to mind for me. Sometimes, things change. I used to think incest roleplay was fucking detestable, but now I learned I don't feel that way about it anymore. I guess you've discovered something similar about yourself when it comes to rape/resistance. Do you think it was the word "rape" and the ugly, violent connotations it has that turned you off about it, and that such "consensual nonconsent" play has always been appealing to you in the back of your head? Just wondering.
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  • brauch

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    2011-02-25 9-04-19-

    Actually I've learned a great deal since I first started posting on the forum. I was actually raped when I was 17 and so the word/idea of rape and all its connotations were especially painful for me. My ex once was playing around and held my arms over my head to give me a wet willy and I begged him to let me go... I ended up having a body memory and kicked him and punched his chest. I didn't know what was going on, so I learned how to become a healthy person from there. I decided that I should avoid being in a position where I lacked control so that I wouldn't have the memory again. At any rate, I've learned that my power is a gift that I can share with/give to my trusted partner, without losing myself. I find that when my lover holds me down and takes me, I feel loved and protected and I know that my safety (emotional and physical) never leaves his mind. I hope that makes sense. Thanks for sharing yours.
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  • rowton

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    2012-04-28 21-53-12

    Very well put Minxy
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  • Katheryn

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    2014-12-10 16-19-35

    It makes perfect sense. A lot of people who are completely squicked by the idea of fake rape have a story very similar to yours. Flashbacks due to PTSD and such aren't uncommon at all, even during a romantic sex act. That you had a similar type of reaction when someone was making you feel helpless and restrained like that really does make perfect sense. I'm very sorry that happened to you. However, I think it's wonderful you can share a "vulnerable" side of yourself with your love. Your trust in him and his respect for your limits are probably a great conductor for your emotional well-being (whereas your ex sounds like a clueless dumbass). I think that, in a way, playing a resistance/rape scene can be a way of taking back that control that was once lost for yourself. Taking something that was horrid and painful and making it your own again. Whatever road you guys decide to take with this, I wish you kinky fun and lots of luck and love.
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    janowicz

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    2016-01-28 11-51-00

    awww thanks MsP I have to say that being able to post about my experience in the forum was part of what has helped me heal. That combined with therapy and research (about the body memories) has allowed me some emotional distance. Time has also helped. My ex was a good man in many ways, but he wasn't the right person for me, nor I for him. I didn't know what security and happiness truly was until I met my love. If I believed in soulmates, I would say that I found mine. At any rate, thank you for your kind words MsP. Here's to baggage that helps us appreciate the good in life.
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